Love her or hate her, you've got to give it to Kris Jenner. She has taken six reasonably attractive children and built a multi-million-dollar brand that is the Kardashians. To paraphrase an old saying, nice girls finish last. And Kris has never finished last at much of anything.
From humble beginnings, she married money, lost out in a nasty divorce, then married a getting onto a has-been Olympic athlete and, by 2007 had parlayed her six kids and her athletic husband and her photogenic self into the big bucks of reality TV. She is the woman who gave us Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Sweet? We have a definite feeling Kris would hate having the word applied to her. Cunning? Yes? Determined? Certainly. Ruthless? Absolutely.
So get ready for 15 not-so-sweet facts about our not-so-sweet Kris Jenner.
15. Sweet 16 And In Search Of A Sugar Daddy
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Says Alfred Garcia, a friend from the old days, "Kris was always going out with people with means and money. She always had her eyes set on the end of the rainbow." Kris' family had very little and she was determined to be rich and famous someday. She's done rather well for herself, we think.
14. Like Mother Like Daughter: Pimping Her Out To Cesar Sanudo
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According to Kris' high school chum Joan Zimmerman, Kris' mom Mary Jo was "kind of pimping her out" when the underaged 17-year-old Kris started her "thing" with pro golfer Cesar Sanudo. Apart from anything else, the guy was ten years older than Kris. Kris was actually living with Sanudo, a fact her mother had to know about.
13. Caught Cheating On Cesar With A Guy Called Robert Kardashian
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The young Kris went for lawyer/entrepreneur Robert Kardashian like a shot and a half. She considered him a better bet (in other words richer) than Sanudo. Poor old Cesar came home one day to find his Kris and Rob in bed together. Rob was attracted to Kris but thought her too flighty. So, he went for Priscilla Presley in a big way.
12. Four Kids And Out Until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m.
Kris finally bagged Robert, when Priscilla booted him out and they were married in 1978. By the time their fourth child Rob was born in 1987, she was bored silly. It was already a party hard time for our Kris. Much to Robert's shock and horror and the kids' upset, she was often out until 2 or 3 a.m. in the morning. Nothing much has changed, has it?
11. Admitted Cheating On Rob Kardashian: Who Is Khloe's Father?
Well, Kris Jenner says she is sorry she cheated on Robert Kardashian. But she comes right out and says it. She cheated. She doubts that Robert is Khloe's father. So who are the candidates? Maybe O.J. Simpson. Some say, no, it's Kris' hairdresser Alex Roldan. Robert Kardashian certainly admitted that he didn't think he was Khloe's biological dad. What a mess for poor Khloe.
10. Affair With Todd Waterman: And A Nasty Divorce
The affair with boy toy soccer player Todd Waterman was the main cause of the nasty 1991 divorce between Kris and Robert Kardashian. Rob, at one point, was threatening the two of them with a golf club. Kris really didn't come out of the divorce very well, considering the circumstances. She did move in her new lover, former Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner (Caitlyn Jenner). He didn't have two beans to rub together either. But Kris had a plan.
9. Enter Bruce: Listen Brucie, No Cross-Dressing At Home
Why does Diane Sawyer get all the "bare their soul" interviews? She did the Caitlyn Jenner one. Caitlyn said that Kris knew from the beginning he was cross-dressing. Heck, he had even dressed up at the Playboy mansion. There's an image to conjure with. Anyway, she says Kris forbad his cross-dressing at home. He didn't manage that one very long.
8. Of Bruce Jenner And Male Enhancement Drugs
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So, it's just an average day on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. And instead of taking the kids to the mall as she had promised, Kris spikes Bruce's coffee with a "male enhancement" drug and the two of them are getting it on in the bedroom to the disgust of the kids. Only thing is Rob drinks the coffee . . . yes, you guessed it.
7. Forget Family: The Brand Is THE Thing
From the moment she lost in all in the divorce with Robert Kardashian, Kris has been determined to build a dynasty, an empire. What has she got? She's got six reasonably attractive kids (if you don't count Rob) and the steely will to succeed no matter what. Just like her mom Mary Jo was maybe not beyond "using" Kris, Kris has shown a tendency to view her kids as assets and the Kardashian name as a brand, a valuable brand.
6. Play? Forget It. Girls Need Beauty Treatments
Kylie recalls sitting in a nail salon for hours as a child getting her nails done when all she wanted to do was go out and play. Kris traumatized Khloe by having her underarms waxed without explaining to the child what was going to happen. And, if as is rumored, Kylie had plastic surgery at 18, mom Kris would have had to sign a permission form. Not mothering as we know it. Thank goodness.
5. Did She Broker THAT Tape Of Kim And Ray J
Kim Kardashian and then-boyfriend Ray J made a naughty tape in 2003. It just happened to emerge in 2007, not coincidentally, the year Keeping Up With the Kardashians hit the airwaves. Both Kim and Kris swear blind they had nothing to do with its sudden appearance. But many spot the hand of a scheming momager in the whole business. Dare we use the "pimp" word?
4. She Set Up Two Marriages That Were Destined To Fail
Khloe's marriage to Lamar Odom and Kim's first marriage to Kris Humphries weren't marriages per se, they were Keeping Up With the Kardashian special episodes that were probably carefully orchestrated by Kris for the sake of ratings and money. Sorry to say, but she probably knew about Odom's drug and "cheating" problems. Khloe suffered for years. Kim? Only 72 days. That in itself was newsworthy and good for the brand.
3. Told Khloe: Lose Weight. You Are Hurting The Brand
Khloe, for obvious reasons, had never seemed like a true Kardashian. Even when KUWTK started, she was decidedly chunky and, well, in-your-face. Kris was apparently not at all happy. She reportedly told Khloe that her weight, too much of it, was damaging the brand and that she needed to slim down. Even step-dad Bruce Jenner chimed in his agreement.
2. Paid Off Todd Waterman To Keep Him Quiet
While she was married to Bruce Jenner, Kris Jenner persuaded her old lover Todd Waterman to appear on KUWTK. It was a nice reunion? Well, it seems that it may have been more than just a friendly encounter, with some sources saying Kris cheated (yet again) with Todd and then paid him to keep quiet. Of course, everybody was shouting at everybody on that episode.
1. Never The Mom: Always The Momager
Some say Kris loves her grandchildren. Some say, she views them as the future of the Kardashian brand. It's probably a little of both. There are all kinds of mothers. Compared to Kris' mothering style, her daughters lavish their kids with love and attention. But, hey, then if Kris had spent her time doing that her whole family would be long ago forgotten. No, momagers have their uses. You can take them to the bank every time.