Finding out that you're having a baby is all sorts of exciting -- whether it's your first kid or your fifth. And if you're choosing to learn the baby's gender before he or she arrives, that doctor's appointment might be the second best one of the whole nine months. But for one woman on Reddit, her baby's gender reveal was anything but a happy moment for her and her husband. In fact, it may be showing major cracks in their relationship.
It all started last week, when the couple went to their doctor to get "the news."
In her anonymous Reddit post, the mom-to-be explained that the couple has been together since college, and are now 28 and 33, and ready to start their family. From the sound of things, the fact that they are having a child together was happy news -- until the doctor revealed one little bit of info during the appointment: They're having a girl.
"When the doctor told us we were having a girl I could see her jaw quite literally drop at the expression on my husband's face," the woman shared.
And not in a "OMG, I can't believe it!" way. It was more like a "OMG, THIS IS THE WORST" kind of way.
And then he went one step further.
"He dropped the papers he was holding and walked out," the mom-to-be wrote.
Then, it got even worse.
Apparently, the husband wasn't just a little upset -- he actually refused to speak to her for the rest of the day!
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was PO'd about: He wanted a boy, and the whole "You're having a girl" news really threw a wrench into his plans.
"At dinner I finally say to him that if he was only planning on being a good father to a boy he should let me know now," the Reddit poster recalled.
But they weren't the only ones at the table -- so was his younger sister.
That's when he turned to her and "introduced" his sister to his wife as if they hadn't ever met before.
"That right there, in case you've forgotten, is a girl," he allegedly told his wife. "Don't presume to lecture me when I'm the only one of us who has ever raised a girl. I know what they are about.”
(Um, excuse me now??)
"He apologized soon after and said he was just mad that I challenged him," the wife continued.
But let's be real -- that was all sorts of messed up.
The woman then tried to "explain" her husband's reaction a bit by sharing some of his family backstory.
"His father died when he was 22 and after that, he has been running the family business with his two other brothers," she wrote. "His sister is the baby of the family, and is proud of the fact she is 5’5 and 109 pounds. I've never liked her since she makes comments like how I needed to get Botox because I was quickly looking to be older than my husband. She herself has already had Botox and fillers because she's afraid she'll age like her mom, who is in her late 50s."
Suffice it to say, there's a bit of family tension going on. But the husband's behavior was still a bit over the mark, if you ask us.
Now there's some ongoing weirdness between the couple, and the husband apparently has been spending a lot of time in his office.
"He reluctantly agreed to post a gender reveal announcement," the woman continued, adding that "while he's been affectionate when he sees me, he also has been making comments like telling me to stop eating chips because mothers who get overweight during pregnancy apparently pass on impulsive eating habits."
(Okay, seriously -- WTH??)
Whenever she brings up anything baby-related, her husband "shuts down completely."
Attempting to work on things together hasn't helped much, either.
"When I suggest therapy, [he] says that I'm the only one who seems to be upset around the house, but if I needed to deal with my insecurities, so be it," she wrote. "The only good part is that my sister in law has come around to having a niece."
Now, she's wondering whether she should just wait for her husband to come around on things or not.
A lot of people believed the poster was in denial -- and that her husband was a classic woman-hater.
And that is NOT COOL.
"I just feel like there had to be all kinds of little red flags of misogyny before this giant one he just threw in your face," one commenter wrote.
"His use of the words 'challenged' and 'lectured' made me think this might be the case, too," someone else said. "As if he holds the authority or assumes he does."
A lot of people felt like the very way the younger sister was being judged unfairly was a sign.
"I love it when people call women-hating 'being traditional,'" one commenter noted. "OP also seems to not be very feminist-y herself, her sister in law gets Botox and is 'superficial.' It's her body, some women wear makeup some don’t both are good.
"And the sister in law is 20, that's still pretty young to be supporting yourself if you're from a well-off family, it's not like she’s 30 with no job," the person added. "I didn't have my first 'real' job that I could move out and support myself with until 22."
Most people pretty much agreed: This guy's got issues.
"I think he needs to get his a-- to therapy yesterday," one person wrote. "There are a lot of concerning things here. One obviously being that he stormed out on you during the reveal and essentially humiliated you, then gave you the silent treatment for the rest of the day. Please keep in mind that when the silent treatment is used as a form of punishment, it is emotionally abusive."
Also a point of concern? That he refers to his sister as "that" as if she's an object, the person noted, and that he accused his wife of "challenging" and "lecturing" him.
"Healthy relationships involve equal autonomy and power from both or all sides," the person continued. "They aren't about one person holding authority over another and they aren't about challenging one another -- they're about compromise, communication, and equality. I really hope your husband doesn't normally become angry when you advocate for yourself."
There were at least a few people who pointed out the biggest irony of the entire story, though ...
Gender is determined by the male's sperm. In other words: He's kinda blaming his wife for something he's responsible for. (Not that anyone should be "blamed" for that!)
"Uh, we found out a long time ago that it's the SPERM that determine the gender of children," one person wrote. "He's living in the Middle Ages."
It certainly sounds like it.
