We all grieve in our own way, and that's especially true for widows and widowers. Some swear they will never love again, while others find love in unexpected people at unexpected times. There's no rulebook when it comes to "moving on" but if there are children involved, sensitivity is essential.
For one mother who found love a year after her husband died, it's getting pretty complicated with her 13-year old girl, and people definitely aren't on mom's side.
The mom began by explaining she had been dating her boyfriend for 5 months, and he has since moved in with her and her daughter when isolation began.
This is all after her husband died a year earlier.
After coming home from shopping, the mom says she found her girl crying and very upset. .
"My late husband owned a pottery studio and would gift specially designed plates and cups to my daughter," she wrote. "We have been keeping those pieces in the same cabinet as the fine china. Today she opens the dishwater and comes to see that my boyfriend and the friends he had over had used the plates and cups her dad designed for her."
The pieces are essentially ruined; one of the cups was particularly chipped and the rest had stains on them.
Naturally she was very upset, and was screaming how she hated her boyfriend. When the mom confronted him about it, he became really upset and things escalated from there.
"He brings up the fact that he had caught one of my daughter’s friends drumming his guitar a couple days ago even though he had said that this was his and his alone," the mom wrote. "He then gets emotional and says that it’s ridiculous that I would defend someone who was clearly intruding upon his personal property. My daughter continues yelling at him which gets her in trouble with me, as I told her to calm down, and I sent her to her room."
Time passes, and the mom goes to bring dinner up to her daughter's room when she tells her that he said some nasty things.
"...she claims that my boyfriend also said that I was a fool for even thinking of siding with a brat who has never contributed anything to the world and has been leeching off me since she was born," the mom added. "When I ask my boyfriend about it, he says that never happened and she’s lying to break us apart. I personally have never heard him say anything like that to her."
The mom demanded that her daughter apologize because they are "family" now, which she refused to do, and began calling him names.
"I subsequently ground her, but say that she’d be free to do as she pleases once she apologizes and is willing to start a mature discussion with myself and my boyfriend since we are a family now," the mom wrote. "The guitar is very important to my boyfriend, and he felt very hurt that she and her friend were practically rolling their eyes at his wishes. I want my relationship to work, and my boyfriend is already stressed from work and is made even unhappier by my daughter’s attitude."
So she wants to know, was she wrong for scolding her daughter?
The story caused a few commenters to wonder what the heck was wrong with mom.
"There is absolutely no place in this situation where you are not the [expletive]," wrote one commenter. "I am concerned for your daughter's well-being due to your poor judgment, and I am heartbroken for your daughter's loss of her father, and for how she must feel that now she lost her mother as well. I hope you can put your own love life on the backburner for a couple years to rebuild the relationship you destroyed with your daughter. If you don’t, she is going to cut you out of her life as soon as she can, and with good reason."
People thought the mom moved way to fast with this younger man, and is potentially putting her daughter in daughter.
"Your daughter is only 13 and lost her father only a year ago, and now has had to see her mother bring a new man into her life barely 6 months later," explained one reader. "Of course she is protective of the gifts she has to remember her father by! Of course she doesn't like your boyfriend! Your boyfriend is an ADULT who should not be engaging in a feud with a child. Touching his guitar isn't the same as permanently damaging handmade items from her dead father. You need to apologize to your daughter, tell your boyfriend to chill out, and get your daughter some sort of grief counseling."
All in all, this mom better get it together quickly, or she's at risk of losing more than her boyfriend.