Pickup trucks are a staple of American life, and millions of people across the USA and the world own one. However, over the years, there have been some subpar trucks produced by even the biggest names in car manufacturing. Some are too small, others too loud, and some are just too wacky for anyone to want to buy them. But what about speed?
Of course, how fast a truck can get from zero to 60 miles per hour isn't always a top priority when making a car built for sturdy off-road journeys, carrying large amounts of things, or towing even heavier loads. However, these manufacturers neglected speed a little bit too much when making these pickups, and as a consequence, they're noticeably (and sometimes embarrassingly) slow.
Have you ever wondered which the slowest truck that Ford has made is? Or which is the manufacturer you’ve never heard of? Check them out.
18. 1986 Lamborghini LM002 - 8.1 seconds
I bet you didn’t expect to see a Lamborghini on a list of slowest cars. In fact, I bet you didn’t expect to see a Lamborghini on a list of pickup trucks. And yet, here it is.
The Lamborghini LM002 boasts a 5.2-liter V12 engine and 420 brake horsepower to help it off the line, and it probably creates quite a brilliant noise while doing so.
This car has become a cult collectible, with one recently fetching £350,000 (nearly $500,000) at auction. Its collectible status means that you're unlikely /to see one of these rare Lambos drag racing another pickup, but it would likely beat cars even 30 years newer than itself. After all, while doing 0-60 mph in 8.1 seconds makes it one of the slowest Lamborghinis around, that's not a terrible time in the world of pickups and makes it the fastest slowest pickup on our list.
17. Ford F-450 - 8.3 seconds
8.3 seconds is pretty zippy, but it’s just not fast enough to race out of our little list. The Ford F-450 is pretty luxurious on the inside and only comes with a crew-sized cabin, making it pretty spacious, too. On the looks front, it appears quite normal when viewed from the front or at an angle, but when seen side-on, you realize just how long this pickup actually is—over 47 Subway sandwiches long (that’s 266.2 inches to those of us not quite as well versed in subs as others) and can tow an almighty 21,000 lbs on its six wheels. I don’t think many engines could pull this mammoth truck to 60 mph at a faster pace, so if you’re in desperate need of transporting a lot of things or if you just want a really long car, then the Ford is for you. That is, if you’ve got the best part of $75,000 to splash on your new pickup.
16. 2016 Ram 1500 Crew Cab EcoDiesel 4X4 - 8.8 seconds
The first Dodge Ram on our list is less powerful than you’d expect. While staying on the respectable side of 10 seconds for going 0-60, we expected much more. In comparison to other, much faster Dodge pickups, it’s hard to tell where it all went wrong with this one. Perhaps it’s the crew cab. Perhaps it’s the self-contradictory “EcoDiesel” that pumps through the 1500’s metaphorical veins and literal pipes and engine. Or perhaps, it’s all the added extras for comfort and intelligent parking that have shifted the company’s focus from speed to satisfaction. It’s really impossible to say, but it's evident that this is a pickup built for comfort and the driving experience rather than speed. It can tow over 10,000 lbs, though, which is no mean feat.
15. 2000 Toyota Tundra Standard Cab - 8.9 seconds
What use is a 245 brake horsepower 4.7L V8 engine when it’s stuck in the chassis of a Toyota Tundra? "Not much" is the answer. The Tundra doesn’t really have anything going for it. It doesn’t do 0-60 very fast, it doesn’t look particularly nice, and it doesn’t scream “buy me,” especially now that it’s nearly 20 years old. The only part that has survived the test of time for Toyota is its large pickup bed.
This is a truck of its time, has been outshone in every area since its production, and was probably not at the top of the pile at the turn of the millennium either.
Time hasn’t treated the Toyota Tundra well, but at least it's stayed clear of that arbitrary 10-second barrier that seems so important.
14. 1994 Mazda B4000 SE - 9.3 seconds
Age certainly isn’t on the side of the Mazda B4000—and neither is its reputation. The Mazda B-series of pickup trucks made a name for themselves as notoriously slow and, therefore, not a good choice for speed-loving drivers. This isn’t particularly surprising for Mazda, which is more used to producing sports cars than pickups, but its venture into the world of trucks was pretty unsuccessful, on the speed front at least. However, it's known as quite a reliable pickup, mostly due to the accessibility of Ford parts for repairs. But who wants to brag to their mates that they’ve got a reliable car? This strikes me as potential mid-life crisis material—for those who want a pickup but don’t know a lot about pickups and saw a Mazda advertised on Craigslist, not that that’s necessarily a bad thing.
13. 2018 Chevrolet Colorado - 9.3 seconds
Chevrolet is an established pickup manufacturer, so I'm almost surprised to see one of their famous cars on this list. I'm even more surprised that it's one of their newest models. It would be more understandable if it was a Chevy from the '80s or something, but that's not the case. Browsing through their website answers all questions, however. The American company has clearly put more thought into naming the colors that you can buy this pickup in than any of the important specifications. Do you want it in “Kinetic Blue,” “Deepwood Green,” “Silver Ice,” or “Black”?
This is the pickup of the modern era, with in-car WiFi and a very safe 0-60 of 9.3 seconds.
The kids will be fine at that pace and thoroughly entertained with the iPad in their hands, too. This car is practical but kind of sucks the fun out of driving.
12. 2006 Lincoln Mark LT - 9.5 seconds
The Lincoln Mark LT is a stylish car and shares a lot with the Ford F-150 that it's based on. It's undoubtedly one of the most stylish and modern ways to get to 60 miles per hour in under 10 seconds despite being 12 years old. A Ford V8 engine hides between the flared wheel arches and the shiny front grille, and it's called upon to lurch the heavy truck forward, slowed by the sheer number of aesthetic bodywork additions and leather seats that the Lincoln hosts. With the Lincoln’s style comes an impressive practicality and a 67” bed. Luxury pickups are never going to be breaking speed records, so the 9.5 seconds that the Mark LT manages is actually quite respectable, although with Ford’s track record, it’s hardly surprising that a car based heavily on their designs marries comfort and speed very easily.
11. 2016 Toyota Hilux - 9.5 seconds
The Toyota Hilux, more commonly known as the "Toyota Pickup" in the US, has been in production since 1968, but Toyota has somehow not managed to improve its acceleration past 9.5 seconds. You’d think that with each new edition, slight improvements in technology and their own knowledge would increase its acceleration so it could at least match a much older Mazda, but that's not the case. Toyota has instead improved the Hilux in terms of comfort, changing up the dashboard and refining the cabin, rather than focusing themselves on the speed produced by the 2.7L four-cylinder engine that powers the truck. Having sold over 16 million of these pickups, though, Toyota might just be leaving their winning formula alone, rather than trying to tweak the engine for a slightly better performance.
10. 2013 Ram 3500 HD Laramie Longhorn Mega Cab Dually 4X4 - 9.5 seconds
This car is huge. There’s a reason it’s called the “Mega Cab.” And, while the bed does look like it's been stuck on as an enormous afterthought, the Ram looks pretty good, too.
As our second Dodge on the list, comparisons must be held with the 1500. While the 3500 “Laramie Longhorn” doesn’t have an EcoDiesel engine to hold back its pace, it's three years older than its faster counterpart.
It’s bigger, too—so big that you might need to fork out for a bigger driveway as well as the best part of $40,000 for one of these. Still, Dodge has managed to haul this huge hunk of metal to 60 mph in under 10 seconds, a feat that won't be replicated when it’s enormous bed has been filled with surfboards, building materials, or a small herd of elephants that could probably fit on there.
9. 2004 GMC Canyon Extended Cab (2.8L) - 9.9 seconds
The smallest engine-size option for the GMC Canyon obviously provides the least power, and this is pretty slow. A disappointment in many areas, the GMC has very little horsepower to play with and a towing capacity of around 2,000 lbs. That may sound like a lot, but when compared with some market leaders like the Ram 1500, it's simply laughable.
The extended cab seems a little pointless, giving you more space in an already spacious vehicle and adding more weight which lowers the car’s speed.
A very basic pickup, the GMC Canyon can be picked up for a low price, but there’s a reason for that–i.e. it doesn’t have a lot going for it. It seems that, despite all of its flaws, GMC did manage to make the car go from 0-60 mph in just under 10 seconds, so that’s something, I guess—a very little something but something nonetheless.
8. 2003 Subaru Baja - 9.9 seconds
The best thing about the Baja is probably its weird yellow/silver finish. I mean, 0-60 mph in 9.9 seconds is hardly something to brag about, and neither are those little lights that go on top of it. Like a car auditioning to be on Baywatch, it makes you wonder if this 0-60 was timed on a sandy beach… While turbo editions of the Baja were available in more recent years, back in 2003, drivers were left with nothing more than the standard little subpar engine to power them through. I guess if you really don’t care about what you look like when driving, then the Baja would be a reasonable choice, but are you really sure? It just seems lacklustre in most regards, in everything from its looks to its speed.
7. 2015 Volkswagen Amarok 2.0 BiTDI 4Motion Pickup - 11.1 seconds
VW is more accustomed to designing family SUVs than pickups, and it shows. While the design of the Amarok is certainly pleasant, the speed is certainly not. With the Subaru Baja, which is over a second slower to 60 miles per hour than the last entry on our list, Volkswagen has evidently prioritized its family-friendly roots, rather than looked at the vehicle’s power.
A luxurious interior is fitted with the leather of a family of cows so that your family can have the most comfortable experience in the 5-seater.
It's fitted with no fewer than four, yes four, cup holders (apparently the fifth passenger has to hold his or her own drink), and all kinds of fancy dashboard doodahs. Air-con is another feature weighing down this pickup, and that shows that a trend in newer trucks of comfort being prioritized over power.
6. 1993 Toyota T100 XtraCab SR5 - 11.8 seconds
The T100 SR5 is a very basic pickup. The seating in the “extended cab” is nothing more than a bench. It has seatbelts, but it looks just about as comfortable as a church pew. This truck is old, so just forgive it for not having all the mod cons and give it bonus points for actually having power steering ahead of its time, but it really is basic. And yes, the SR5 provides a built-in toolbox, but that's hardly a necessity when shopping for a new pickup, is it? Its V6 engine is actually more powerful than a lot of others in this list, but either because the car is too heavy or because the 150 horsepower just isn’t enough, the truck is simply lackluster when going from 0-60.
5. 1996 Isuzu Hombre XS - 12 seconds
The Isuzu Hombre is a pickup right out of a '90s cult movie. The retro look works well for it, but the engine, not so much. The budget truck built by GM is obviously modelled on a Chevy S-Series compact, a popular design that was backed up by a competent engine. Isuzu, however, struggles to hit the ground running as fast as its seasoned counterparts at Chevrolet, and the power just isn’t under the accelerator pedal of the Hombre.
The slow 0-60 is indicative of too little power, and the fact that there are no 4-wheel drive options for the car further proves that it isn’t really fit for purpose.
It’s a truck for those who want a Chevy but can’t afford one and are really only going to put their shopping and a spare tire in the back. The Hombre can probably handle roads with relative ease; it’s just when you drive off them that the problems will begin.
4. 2013 Ford Ranger Double Cab Limited Diesel - 12.3 seconds
Ford’s answer to Volkswagen’s Amarok clocks in at over a second slower to get to 60 mph. The problems seem to begin with the fact that Ford has just transplanted the engine of its regular Mondeo car into a much larger and heavier chassis, expecting it to perform just as well. While Ford tries to hide the fact that this is a pickup by placing it in its car lineup and filling the interior with leather and fancy dials and a sat-nav, it remains a strange bridge between the worlds of truck and car. The Ranger is simultaneously too big to be a car and not powerful enough to be a pickup. Its off-road capabilities would probably be muted due to its pristine finish and lack of acceleration, too. I wouldn’t like to watch one of these try to navigate its way up a hill, and I’d honestly be bored before it reached 60 on a flat surface.
3. 2012 Mitsubishi L200 4Work - 14.2 seconds
The car in black. Black paint, blacked-out rear windows, even black alloys. Pretty swish. You’d think that it was the design of a car that could speed away from you at the traffic lights, but you'd be mistaken. This is seriously slow. 14.2 seconds. Wow. And Mitsubishi can’t even claim that they’re going for a luxury vibe with the L200, because the interior looks more like a sparse rally car with racing seats than the luxuries available in some of the others on this list. The large bed at the back is possibly the only redeeming feature of the car, as the 4-cylinder diesel engine just simply can’t pull the hulking chassis forward fast enough. It doesn’t seem to be particularly comfortable—or particularly powerful—so we’re really struggling to see what the point of this pickup is, to be honest.
2. 2012 Ford F-650 Dump Truck - 17.6 seconds
It’s nothing against Ford that they have so many entries on this list; they just make so many pickups that some of them are slow. The F-650 is slowest of these, though.
Despite the powerful V10 engine, it can only manage to get to 60 mph in 17.6 seconds.
While this monstrous truck looks more like a lorry than a truck, it's still a pickup, as you don’t need a special kind of license to drive it. And while it drives really slowly, the dump bed can hold far more than any other of these vehicles. Plus, it's surprisingly maneuverable. The F-650 has circumstantial use, even if it is super slow.
1. Brabus Unimog U500 - 22 seconds
Depending on your source, the Brabus Unimog U500 either takes over a third of a minute to reach 60 miles per hour or it can’t get there at all. Some sources say that its max speed is a measly 56 mph. So, rather than infinitely waiting for it to drive down a steep hill or hit a mythical “boost button” to take it over the 60 mph threshold, we decided to just put it in first place as the slowest ever pickup truck. Because, let’s face it, if you’re doing it in 22 seconds, you may as well never get there. It’s also worth noting that this is both the weirdest-looking pickup and the one with the weirdest name. Great stuff, Brabus.