Losing a loved one, especially a spouse, is never easy. However, when kids are involved things get extra complicated, which is especially true for one young, grieving wife.
A 25 year-old Redditor recently married a 30-year-old man who had a daughter with his ex in high school. Sadly the new husband and father passed suddenly, and the stepmom was forced to make a hard decision.
His daughter understandably is not doing well, and while the two are close, she considers herself to be more like an older sister than an authoritative figure.
"Tonight, she showed up suddenly at my front door," the widow wrote. "She was crying and said she hitched a ride to come see me. She said she got into an argument with her parents over her boyfriend/school and that she want to live with me from now on. She says I'm the only one who understands her and that she can't stand to be with her family, that she 'hates' them. I told her she can stay the night."
Naturally, the stepmom called the daughter's mother to let her know where the young girl was.
"Her mom was understandably very worried and afraid," she wrote. "She agreed to pick her up in the morning. I let my stepdaughter know, and she got angry with me, and said that she expected me of all people to understand her. She says that I'm the only person who knows what she's going through and she thought she could trust me."
But the recent widow had to be honest with her mother, and frank with the young girl.
Of course, when she told the girl that it just wasn't realistic for her to move in with her, she was devastated.
"I feel like a monster, but what else could I have done? Her mom will pick her up tomorrow. Did I make a mistake in calling her?"
People were just heartbroken for everyone involved.
"You did the responsible thing-- ironically the thing a good parent should do," encouraged one reader. "You looked out for her best interests even though it hurt her feelings. She's not being abused at home, she's just going through grief and that's hard for everyone. Tell her she can come back for some space when it's (1) pre-planned and (2) for a reasonable amount of time. You can still be her friend."
Others also encouraged her to keep a real relationship with her if possible.
"...you might consider letting her stay with you from time to time," suggested on reader. "I'm not suggesting you let her stay any more than a couple of nights at time, nor should you try to be a parent if you feel you are incapable of being one right now. But that girl probably seeks comfort in you because she knows you know better than anyone what her *real* pain is. Underneath the immature angsty I-hate-my-parents teen [expletive] is a scared little girl trying desperately to cope with the death of her father."
And the young widow isn't opposed to that idea at all.
"I feel bad and maybe I should let her stay with me for longer," she wrote. "I honestly would not mind because Im working from home anyways and have no place to be. But I worry about the legal aspects, she does have a legal mother which I am not. If her mother wants her home then there is nothing I can do."
Perhaps when things have settled down the three of them can get together and decide on something that's best for the young girl. All in all we hope the widow and the daughter can be a source of comfort to each other during this hard time.