Unfortunately Kim K Has Nowhere to Wear This Baffling Outfit

Unfortunately Kim K Has Nowhere to Wear This Baffling Outfit

An outfit for no discernible occasion is … an outfit for any occasion?! Photo: @KimKardashian/Twitter

Sometimes, while you ride out isolation, it is fun to play dress-up. Just cook up a spicy little fit and try it on for whoever happens to be around, whether that is an actual human being or your poor obliging pet. This can help create a sense of normalcy: First, I put on the going-out top, then I hit the dance floor, which (conveniently) is the middle of my bedroom floor. First, I put on a pile of necklaces, then I attend the Zoom happy hour, ugh. Or, perhaps: First, I put on the assless chaps, then I go stand by the car.

Well, okay, I, too, would have to draw the line at the chaps scenario, simply because I own neither butt-baring pants nor a car. But Kim Kardashian West has both! So, in the spirit of preserving a shadow of her pre-pandemic life, she got “all dressed up with nowhere to go” on Wednesday, per her Twitter account. For Kim K, this meant long peroxide waves (where are we getting extensions in quarantine, hmm?); small, black space-invader sunglasses; a white bikini; and the crown jewel of her quarfit, a pair of off-white chaps. To borrow a favorite phrase of Kim’s: all-white everything … well not everything!

All dressed up with nowhere to go pic.twitter.com/YFxUb2Bmmh

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) May 20, 2020

To me, the overall look is a little confusing: If it is warm enough outside that you’re most comfortable in a bikini, then you probably won’t be very comfortable in leather leg sheaths, even if their heavy ventilation does allow for some breathability. Or perhaps they balance each other out. But if the goal is to dress for an occasion: Where would you wear such a getup, even if you did have the option of going somewhere? What type of event or destination or gathering or dress code would prompt Kim K to peer into her $10 million closet and say to herself, Ah, yes, today I think the chaps and the bikini; that will be perfect?

Incidentally, wherever that place is, it’s a place I would like to visit just once before I die. Regardless, now is as good a time as any to wear your leather chaps. And just over there, by your blindingly shiny silver vehicle? In terms of places to “go,” I think that makes as much sense as anywhere else, quarantine or no.